Who's the man?
by Hakudoushi kawaii ne
Summary: A drunk conversation between two semes... Something you've never read before! Slice of life. NaruSasu ShikaNeji


**Who's the man?**

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"Sasuke has to be the weirdest man on earth." Naruto stated out of the blue as he took a zip of the beer in front of him.

A grunt of objection came from Nara shikamaru as he stared intently at the glass in front of him. "I doubt he's as weird as Neji."

Blond eyebrows creased together as Naruto turned with a doubtful look at the other. "Forget it. Sasuke's seriously the weirder here. Did you know that he is the biggest neatfreak ever. If I leave something lying around too long, he'll immediately be down my throat about it; telling me I'm the worst slob ever! As if! One cup of ramen and he'll judge me for the rest of my life!"

"Did you know that Neji make me use coasters? If he finds out I haven't been using one he'll force me to sleep on the couch...for three days!" Shikamaru countered with a sour look as he downed the glass of beer in front of him.

Naruto signaled to the waiter two new glasses as he downed the rest of his. "Sasuke uses coasters too. I once forgot and it left a mark on our mahogny table; he made me stay at the office for one week! I wasn't even allowed in to change clothes... And I'm the hokage, I can't walk around unshaved with one week old clothes! Sakura would have my ass!"

Shikamaru sighed as he raised his glass in a toast. "Cheers!" he said and two glasses clonked together.

"Neji doesn't even have facial hair... and he shaves his legs and arm pits."

"No way! Sasuke does the same. He doesn't have facial hairs either."

"When I comment about it Neji goes balistic."

Naruto tugged at the sleeve of his shirt and pulled it up to reveal a scar. "See this, I innocently callesd him a woman when he was having PMS and so he threw a hairdrier at me. I still don't get how he managed to make a wound this big."

Shikamaru nodded and gave him a look of pity, then he tugged at his left pant leg. "I only stated the obvious and told him he looked like a girl from behind, mind this was on our third date; I'd never make that mistake again. He stabbed me with a fork and then dragged it down at least 4 inches."

"Ouch; I feel for ya man. That's just crazy."Naruto drank the remaining beer in his glass and then ordered another round.

"Do you know how much time Sasuke spends in the bathroom every morning? Two friggen hours! He's a ninja and does hard labour, add with that the fact he's a man; two hours in front of the mirror! I don't get it!"

"Neji spends the same. Just his hair takes over an hour with all his hair products or whatever he does. It's all too troublesome."

Naruto chuckled and drank from his beer. "And they dare wonder why we call them women!"

Shikamaru nodded and quaffed half of his beer. "Neji's also a freak when it comes to training. Whenever he's not on a mission, cleaning, or doing his hair; he trains. I hardly ever get to go cloud watching now a days because he wants me as his sparring partner! It's so troublesome, I tell him to train with Lee or someone else but either they are away on missions or too busy with their genin teams."

"I know! When I'm finally done with work, Sasuke drags me out to spar with him since I'm the only one who can keep up with him. It was fun at first but it gets tiresome..."

They downed the last of their beers in silence, then ordered more before continuing where they'd left off.

"Our anniversary's coming up..." Naruto stated with a heavy sigh.

"Troublesome..."

"Damn right. Last year I forgot; needless to say he still nags about it... He's almost religious about the anniversary! If I don't put enough effort in it he'll complain and take away sex!

"That's another thing he does. I swear; that man is no man! It seems as if he can go without sex for days! He never thinks twice about taking it away, but when we are at it he's quite the animal if you get my drift." Naruto smirked.

"Neji's a prude but once he lets go... wow.

"He does that too by the way; taking away sex. Troublesome."

"It could make you wonder why we love them, ey?" Naruto chuckled.

Shikamaru laughed as they made another toast and then emptied their glasses. "Amen to that."

"One could really wonder..."

Naruto stared at Shikamaru as Shikamaru stared at Naruto. "Was that you?" He questioned, his voice shaky.

"No... You?"

Naruto shook his head no as both turned to the side. As if in slowmotion Sasuke and Neji entered their vision. "How long have you been there?" Naruto gulped, fearing the answer.

"We came here together..."

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The rest... is simply too painful to tell.

OWARI

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REVIEW PLEASE.

AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!

I'm drunk as I type this, any typos may be because of that. I apologise if so.


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